How Do We Become A Lonely And Miserable Crowd?

Society changes are affecting all members of it. Does it affect each of us differently? If yes, what are the reasons for it? Each of us is a member of a miserable crowd called society in modern civilization with so many miserable and tough problems. Why do we seek for happiness every single day but it is still out of reach?

Other-directed and inner-directed personality

There are controversial talks about how people who are living in different communities and societies should behave and live. Should they live other-directedly or inner-directedly? Although you may find how other-directed people need to interact and connect with peoples, let me make it clear first: other-directed personality does not mean extrovert thinker, and inner-directed personality does not mean introvert thinker.

In general, “other-directed” personality word tells a story itself, which means directing outside and seeking for the recognition as well as approvals out of his inner own.  Similarly, “inner-directed” personality seeks for the true meaning of everything inside his inner ego. Let’s take an example. A man who has other-direction always acts, connects, and shows off his ability so as to be realized and recognized by others, from which he can have benefits (money, fame, etc.). He even will not make any move if there isn’t any reward for him. Don’t get me wrong here. There’s nothing wrong if anyone finds himself a motivation which is big enough to complete a goal.  However, when that motivation roots from an unstable element or entity, it should be carefully seen. On the other hand, an inner-directed personality will do something because of the thing its own. He desperately thinks that he has to do that. His ego pushes him to do that. I don’t want to bore you with the rightness or falseness of the direction here, but keep reading, you are the most suitable decision makers.

Fear, loss, and infuriation

how we become miserable crowdcrowd

Although being hidden under daily activities, emotional and psychological chaos is easy to be seen in all most all people, even the most balanced ones. We don’t know what is an active and dynamic person thinking when he or she are chasing after relationship and connection every day. “Being alone” can virtually scare any one of them. Why? Because they need to connect and interact. They need to be a part of something. In other words, without connections, without the existence of others, they don’t feel their own existence. Some of them even take their neighbors’ approval seriously and let them drive their actions. This is something like the dependence they put on the crowd and its mood, which brings them into nothing but more chaos.

Is it a symptom of rich people?

No, it is not. Feeling lost, fear, and infuriated is not the symptom of only children who were born with a silver spoon, living in rich countries as usually known before. People in poor countries have to face with this problem too, alongside with worrying about making an end and fulfill their stomach.  And the reason is easy to be figured out. Instead of seeking the goodness and peace, motivation and ambition from their inner worlds, they are being driven by the outside world, where they don’t understand and have no control. They are guided by not-suitable rules and prejudices of their community. Needless to say, how cruel, unstable, irrational, and unreliable a community in general, a crowd in particular is. This is stated in the book of Gustave Le Bon named The crowd, a study of the popular mind. The statement can also be taken into the light more strongly when we look back to the human kind history along the way of development. A crowd is a person who is sleeping. All of his critical thinking and logical thinking are paused.

we are miserable crowd

Show off interfacial knowledge

we are a lonely crowd

There are many lifestyles and behaviors are considered as appropriate and right within a community. They compel people to follow. Interestingly, every single member accepts them without any query, even though they have to give up most of their characteristics that belong to their personal traits and speak out who they are. They have to give up their habits, their passions, and sometimes their most beautiful ambitions. All of these things are causing inevitable loss and unstable statements for people. Who are you if you are not yourself anymore? What a great number of things you have to through away with regret to have a seem-to-be-peaceful life. Is it worth or not?

What a lonely and miserable creature we are! We always want to become someone else except ourselves so we abandon our inner-directions of our lives, which is dangerous. Endeavoring to be a good person gradually makes us stress and worry, drives us to exhausted. In favor of the knowledge seekers, we are humble to interact and connect so as to cover our loneliness and confusion, and then we can think that we are smart, intelligent, insightful, and what so ever. Follow the connection or recognition otherwise, stress will follow you.

What’s the right way to behave?

Now, you may have a question, what is the right thing to do then? And what about taking something in the middle of the twos? Good question. However, there is nothing in the middle. This means you have to other-directedly or inner-directedly behave. This is similar to the fact that you can only know how to swim or not. You cannot know it sometimes and don’t know it the other time. The era of rapid changes and big data has been completely proving it. Things that we cannot have, things that we cannot control and things that we don’t understand together are leading us to the sensitiveness about our weakness and drawbacks that we want to hide away.

There’s nothing wrong with either the way you behave. You can be whoever you want, as long as you don’t put others’ opinions and thoughts first and let them induces you to take on the goals, ideology and so many things of your community lest you will end up with being someone not truly you.

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